Marriage is an institution established by God. It is the major target of achievement for every human being. It is still, the last stage of the life of every man. No matter how rich and well established you might be, if you do not have a wife or husband of your own, you would still be socially considered as unfulfilled. To be frank, marriage is a very unique achievement in life. But, as unique and glorious as marriage could be, it is still the most difficult thing to understand and get right.
The major reason for this is the nature of human beings. The human species are the most complex creatures made by God. There are so many peculiarities in the life of man and woman that requires special knowledge and wisdom to understand and handle properly. There are several attributes of a female that the male species might not understand. It is not the fault of the women, with some peculiarities about them, such traits are natural. Meanwhile, there are also some attributes of bad behaviour, which are traits of indisciplined and personal attributes that could lead to marital failure and poor relationships in the behavioural traits of both men and women.
What are the symptoms of a sick marriage?
1. Lack of cohesion and togetherness:
This implies not doing things in common. Instances of this could be seen in the sitting position of some couples in the church. They are supposed to sit together, but because of some issues best known to them, they decide to sit separately. As husband and wife, it is expected that both of them be together in whichever outing you are to attend. Once they are together, there must not be any separation between them. At times, what could cause this is the fact that Some are ashamed of being seen with their spouses. Sometimes, some women find it very difficult to sit around their husbands, and vice versa. There is supposed to be togetherness in whatever they do. This also improves their relationships.
2. When there is accusation and counter-accusation, between spouses, then the marriage is very sick.
3. Fault finding:
One mistake that most aspiring couples do make is that they think the perfect kind of man they dream about is possible to be found, it is not. There is no perfect man or woman. Since the fall in the garden of Eden, human nature has been changed to that of imperfection. Being made imperfect by iniquity. Hence, no human being on earth is without a blemish. What is expected of every man is to rebrand his woman to his taste.
4. Blame shifting:
Blame shifting is most common with men. When a child does something wrong, they tend to attribute it to the carelessness of the mother in taking care of him/her and teaching him the necessary home training in behavioural attributes. The training of a child is the work of both spouses. If a child turns out bad, it is the fault of both.
5. Involving third parties:
The problem of any family could be heightened once the intrusion of a third party is allowed. It is sometimes, possible for any of the spouses to confide in his/her family on some situation happening. This might in turn play out negatively.
6. Lack of communication:
This is a situation where the couples do not get themselves engaged in active and positive communications. In respect of ideas and healthy discussions, it is expected that both spouses, should get themselves engaged in active discussions. In a situation where this is not happening, it certainly signifies a sickness in the marriage.
7. Separation of rooms in the house:
Not staying together at all is a sign of sick marriage. Spouses must not for any reason separate rooms. They must sleep together in the same room, at all times. The separation of rooms would give room to the enemy. It is a sign of an unhealthy marriage.
8. When a woman transfers all the love she has to her children and abandons the husband, it is a sign of a sick marriage.
9. Forming a camp in the house, the marriage is divided into two camps; and couples no longer bear the burden of each other, it is a symptom of a sick marriage.
10. Keeping a diary of wrong things and offences. This gives room for an undying hatred and satanic penetrations that would be very difficult to undo, spiritually.
11. S*xual famine, no s*x at all:
This can cause very serious damage to the marriage. S*x denial in a marriage is a prelude to temptations. Temptations in such a situation could lead to atrocities.
12. Bad words being spoken to each other:
A situation where spouses do exchange bad words to each other, every day, sickens the relationship the more and increases the possibility of bitterness in the home. It is one of the very practical signs of a sick marriage.
These deficiencies in some marriages are the major elements that would eventually lead to their breakages. God has purposed a very good home and life for everyone who could take time to get Him involved in their marriages. So also, Satan too is highly interested in the homes of everyone: to scatter and to most importantly cause confusion. The sicknesses in marriages are always fuelled up by Satan, the enemy of man and his peaceful coexistence on earth.
Source: Dr Dk Olukoya Sermon: Sunday 19th December 2021